


love and letters and you

by oswinry



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinry/pseuds/oswinry
Summary: Sometimes the Doctor is good at grief counseling.





	love and letters and you

There is a moment, amidst the sudden rush of funeral preparations, when Graham feels startlingly hopeless.

He’s sitting at their table (scratched wood, beautiful—a real heirloom. Grace never would let him get a new one—) writing notes for the eulogy. _She was always kind_ …he types.

The cursor blinks at him.

Backspace, backspace. Not good enough. _She was the best woman I ever knew._

Backspace. Slam on the key.

 _No need to hit so hard, honey. Gentle does it_ , she whispers in his memory. Hand on his arm, head on his shoulder.

The cursor blinks. _I should be dead._

Graham stares at the words. Keeps staring. His body feels heavy all over. The words swell until they take up the whole page, then diffract into fragments.

When did he start crying?

A hand on his shoulder—too firm for Yaz, too small to be Ryan. A hint of smoke, and something else too, something just beyond his reach. Ragged sleeves brushing his collar.

“Grace was extraordinary.” Her voice is far away.

He sniffs, brushes a sleeve over his eyes. Straightens his shoulders. “That she was. If only I could do her justice.”

Thoughtful pause. “Grace wouldn’t really have wanted justice though, would she? I didn’t know her long, but I get the feeling she’d prefer love. Your love. Ryan’s love.”

Silence.

“I was married once, you know,” the Doctor suddenly says. “Really brilliant woman, terrific aim, odd sense of fashion.”

Graham looks up. “You? Married?”

She grins, quicksilver. “Always surprises people, that.”

“Is she in your spaceship, then?”

The Doctor looks down. “No. She…died. A long time ago now. I haven’t seen her in…I don’t know how long it is, counting is so hard when you’re dealing with black holes and time loops. Nothing's easy to translate. Three years, maybe?”

A swoop in his stomach. _Three years._ Too long. Not long enough.

He clears his throat. “How, uh. How did it happen?”

“She died saving people. Saving me, really. Four thousand lives on the line, it wasn’t a choice for her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nah. Wasn’t your fault, Graham.”

“Does it.” Cleared throat. “Does it get easier?”

A long pause this time. “Maybe. Depends what you mean by easier, really.”

“Thought so.”

“But I do know,” the Doctor says, quiet. “She’d be glad you’re here right now. Don’t give up on life, Graham. She loved you too much for that.”

A brush on his shoulder and she’s gone. Graham stares at his computer screen again.

 _Grace_ , he types, _loved._

It’s a start.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://actual-bill-potts.tumblr.com).


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